If I could sell my small, shrinking and flat-chested steamer trunk
--original value in New York eighteen dollars and seventy-five
cents--for what it cost me over on the other side in registration
fees, excess charges, mental wear and tear, freightage, forwarding
and warehousing bills, tips, bribes, indulgences, and acts of
barratry and piracy, I should be able to laugh in the income tax's
face. In this connection I would suggest to the tourist who is
traveling with a trunk that he begin his land itinerary in Southern
Italy and work northward; thereby, through the gradual shrinkage
in weight, he will save much money on his trunk, owing to the
pleasing custom among the Italian trainhands of prying it open and
making a judicious selection from its contents for personal use
and for gifts to friends and relatives.
Third--For the sake of the experience, travel second class once;
after that travel first class--and try to forget the experience.
With the exception of two or three special-fare, so-called de-luxe
trains, first class over there is about what the service was on an
accommodation, mixed-freight-and-passenger train in Arkansas
immediately following the close of the Civil War.
Fourth--When buying a ticket for anywhere you will receive a cunning
little booklet full of detachable leaves, the whole constituting
a volume about the size and thickness of one of those portfolios
of views that came into popularity with us at the time of the
Philadelphia Centennial.
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