Surrender a sheet out of your book on
demand of the uniformed official who will come through the train
at from five to seven minute intervals. However, he will collect
only a sheet every other trip; on the alternate trips he will
merely examine your ticket with the air of never having seen it
before, and will fold it over, and perforate it with his punching
machine and return it to you. By the time you reach your destination
nothing will be left but the cover; but do not cast this carelessly
aside; retain it until you are filing out of the terminal, when
it will be taken up by a haughty voluptuary with whiskers. If you
have not got it you cannot escape. You will have to go back and
live on the train, which is, indeed, a frightful fate to contemplate.
Fifth--Reach the station half an hour before the train starts and
claim your seat; then tip the guard liberally to keep other
passengers out of your compartment. He has no intention of doing
so, but it is customary for Americans to go through this pleasing
formality--and it is expected of them.
Sixth--Tip everybody on the train who wears a uniform. Be not
afraid of hurting some one's feelings by offering a tip to the
wrong person. There will not be any wrong person. A tip is the
one form of insult that anybody in Europe will take.
Seventh--Before entering the train inhale deeply several times.
Pages:
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84