From what you have heard on this subject you
confidently expect the British barmaid to be buxom, blond, blooming,
billowy, buoyant--but especially blond. On the contrary she is
generally brunette, frequently middle-aged, in appearance often
fair-to-middling homely, and in manner nearly always abounding
with a stiffness and hauteur that would do credit to a belted earl,
if the belting had just taken place and the earl was still groggy
from the effects of it. Also, she has the notion of personal
adornment that is common in more than one social stratum of women
in England. If she has a large, firm, solid mound of false hair
overhanging her brow like an impending landslide, and at least
three jingly bracelets on each wrist, she considers herself well
dressed, no matter what else she may or may not be wearing.
Often this lady is found presiding over an American bar, which is
an institution now commonly met with in all parts of London. The
American bar of London differs from the ordinary English bar of
London in two respects, namely--there is an American flag draped
over the mirror, and it is a place where they sell all the English
drinks and are just out of all the American ones. If you ask for
a Bronx the barmaid tells you they do not carry seafood in stock
and advises you to apply at the fishmongers'--second turning to
the right, sir, and then over the way, sir--just before you come
to the bottom of the road, sir.
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