If he stayed he was afraid that he would play the fool. But the
memory of her words: "You have been very sweet to me!" would not leave
him; nor the memory of her face, so puzzled, and reproachful. Yes, if
he stayed he would play the fool! He would be asking her to marry a man
double her age, of no position but that which he had carved for himself,
and without a rap. And he would be asking her in such a way that she
might possibly have some little difficulty in refusing. He would
be letting himself go. And she was only twenty--for all her
woman-of-the-world air, a child! No! He would be useful to her, if
possible, this once, and then clear out!
CHAPTER XXI
When Miltoun left Valleys House he walked in the direction of
Westminster. During the five days that he had been back in London he
had not yet entered the House of Commons. After the seclusion of his
illness, he still felt a yearning, almost painful, towards the movement
and stir of the town. Everything he heard and saw made an intensely
vivid impression. The lions in Trafalgar Square, the great buildings of
Whitehall, filled him with a sort of exultation. He was like a man,
who, after a long sea voyage, first catches sight of land, and stands
straining his eyes, hardly breathing, taking in one by one the lost
features of that face. He walked on to Westminster Bridge, and going to
an embrasure in the very centre, looked back towards the towers.
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