The uses to which valuable
information is put by that august body of traffickers in public
credulity, are not for us. That we might penetrate their benighted minds
with many rays of knowledge is not to be doubted, but that we should be
snubbed in proportion to the value of our opinions is also equally
clear. There are some pretty dark places in this world: the Black Hole
of Calcutta; the _oubliette_ of Chillon Castle, the Torture Chambers of
Nuremberg, and the grottoes of the Mammoth Cave, for instance; but there
is no such utter exclusion of light, such profound oblivion, such
blackness of darkness, as awaits anything which may be committed to the
dungeon of a Congressional Committee. Most decidedly, therefore, we
would rather not be referred.
* * * * *
Learned men in Massachusetts are just now confronted with an alarming
possibility. They have been racking their brains to solve the problem
whether population is increasing there faster than the means of
subsistence, and with the expectation of discovering that it is, they
have reached a precisely opposite result. The awful announcement is put
forth, that the supply of babies is diminishing, and the question "What
shall we do to remedy it?" is asked. So persistently is this
interrogatory urged, that young unmarried men perambulating the streets
of Boston, or sauntering leisurely about the Common, are liable at any
moment to be accosted by advanced single ladies with wild, haggard
looks, who stop them face to face, seize them by the shoulders, and
gazing at them with keen, imploring glances, as if they would read their
souls through their eyes, seem to cry "And what have _you_ got to say
about it, O wifeless youth? and why do _you_ let the precious moments
fly when we are willing and ready to be sacrificed? and what are _we_
all coming to, and where are _you_ all going to, and where will Boston
be if this thing goes on?" But these thoughtless and jeering bachelors
will not stop to hear the wail of their challengers; they feel no pity
for their despair; they have no stomach for their agony; but go their
ways, leaving the wretched females rooted, transfixed, the picture of
perfect hopelessness, and greeting them, ere they disappear from sight,
with shouts of scoffing laughter, which the winds catch up and carry
away out of earshot.
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