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~GRAVESTONES FOR SALE.~
Bargains in Immortality
The undersigned offers for sale to the highest bidder, up to Doomsday
next, several choice lots of tombstones. Bidders will state price and
terms of payment, and accepted purchasers will remove the monuments from
their present localities, at their own risk. The lots are:
1st. A gravestone of white marble. It is about 65 feet square at the
base, and is the frustrum of a pyramid, truncated at about 140 feet. It
is filled with a square hole, upon the sides of which are inscriptions
let into various colored marbles, and in the languages of the peoples
who inhabited a great country ages ago. The stone was designed to be put
over the remains of PRO PATRIA, a personage once celebrated for loyalty
and wisdom, but whose teachings are now well nigh forgotten, and whose
name even is fast being obliterated from the memories of radical
improvers of governments and republican institutions. This lot may be
seen south of the mouth of Goose Creek, in a district called Columbia.
2d. A gravestone consisting of a square house of Illinois marble, with a
piece of a smoke-stack protruding from the roof. About one-third of the
estimated cost had been expended, when the persons who were to furnish
the means suddenly concluded that the Little Giant could sleep just as
well in a filthy unmarked hole in the ground, as under a pile of marble.
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