" And ROTHSCHILD was even a
greater authority than Sir PETER LAURIE on the paradise of L s. d.
The vice of the day--"a morbid humanity" towards the would-be suicide--is,
happily, doomed. Sir PETER LAURIE refuses to patronise any effort at
self-slaughter; and, moreover, threatens to "look very narrowly at the
cases" of those despairing fools who may be caught in the attempt. It
would here be well for Sir PETER to inform the suicidal part of the public
what amount of desperation is likely to satisfy him as to the genuineness
of the misery suffered. _William Simmons_ cuts a gash in his throat; the
Alderman is not satisfied with this, but having looked very narrowly into
the wound, declares it to be a proper case for the treadmill. We can well
believe that an impostor trading on the morbid humanity of the times--and
there is a greater stroke of business done in the article than even the
sagacity of a LAURIE can imagine--may, in this cold weather, venture an
immersion in the Thames or Serpentine, making the plunge with a
declaratory scream, the better to extract practical compassion from the
pockets of a morbidly humane society; we can believe this, Sir PETER, and
feel no more for the trickster than if our heart were made of the best
contract saddle-leather; but we confess a cut-throat staggers us; we fear,
with all our caution, we should be converted to a belief in misery by a
gash near the windpipe.
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