Do not wholly despise me, Frederic; he looked so like my
poor uncle, I knew not how to deny him.
"This morning brought your letter. You ask for the money to be sent
to you immediately. I have it not to send; my sin has found me out.
A thief and swindler! Can it be possible that I have incurred such
dreadful guilt?
"_Night._--I have seen Godfrey--he has failed me. What shall I do?
I must go to my father; perhaps he will relent, and pity my
distress. My heart is torn with distracting doubts. Oh, that I
could pour into some faithful bosom my torturing situation! Clary
is ill--and left to myself, I am lost.
"_Midnight._--I have seen my father. What a meeting. My brain aches
while I try to recall it. At first he insulted my agony; taunted me
with my misfortunes, and finally maddened me. I cannot describe to
you what passed. Wound up to a pitch of fury, I threatened to
obtain the money by violence, if he did not write an order upon his
banker for the sum required. Cowering with fear, he complied; and
I--I, in the fullness of my heart, implored his pardon for the
language I had used, and blessed him. Yes, I blessed him, who only
a few minutes before had spurned me from his feet--had mocked at my
calamity--and cursed me in the savage malevolence of his heart.
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