The idea of making capital out of the original deeds concerning
the Saracinesca, which had presented itself to him soon after the
murder, recurred frequently to his mind; but he felt that he was
in no condition to elaborate it, and promised himself to attend to
the matter when he was better. For he fancied that he was ill and
that his state would soon begin to improve. To go to San Giacinto
now was out of the question. It would have been easier for him to
climb the cross on the summit of St. Peter's, with his shaken
nerves and trembling limbs, than to face the man who inspired in
him such untold dread. He could, of course, take the alternative
which was open to him, and go to old Saracinesca. Indeed, there
were moments when he could almost have screwed his courage to the
point of making such an attempt, but his natural prudence made him
draw back from an interview in which he must incur a desperate
risk unless he had a perfect command of his faculties. To write
what he had to say would be merely to give a weapon against
himself, since he could not treat the matter by letter without
acknowledging his share in the forgeries. The only way to
accomplish his purpose would be to extract a solemn promise of
secrecy from Saracinesca, together with a guarantee for his own
safety, and to obtain these conditions would need all the
diplomacy he possessed.
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