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Smollett, Tobias George, 1721-1771

"The Expedition of Humphry Clinker"

' 'Foregad! thou are a complete
fellow (cried my uncle, still laughing) I have a good mind to
take thee into my family -- Prithee, go and try if thou can'st make
peace with my sister -- Thou ha'st given her much offence by
shewing her thy naked tail.'
Clinker accordingly followed us into the room, cap in hand,
where, addressing himself to Mrs Tabitha, 'May it please your
ladyship's worship (cried he) to pardon and forgive my offences,
and, with God's assistance, I shall take care that my tail shall
never rise up in judgment against me, to offend your ladyship
again. Do, pray, good, sweet, beautiful lady, take compassion on a
poor sinner -- God bless your noble countenance; I am sure you are
too handsome and generous to bear malice -- I will serve you on my
bended knees, by night and by day, by land and by water; and all
for the love and pleasure of serving such an excellent lady.'
This compliment and humiliation had some effect upon Tabby; but
she made no reply; and Clinker, taking silence for consent, gave
his attendance at dinner. The fellow's natural aukwardness and
the flutter of his spirits were productive of repeated blunders
in the course of his attendance -- At length, he spilt part of a
custard upon her right shoulder; and, starting back, trod upon
Chowder, who set up a dismal howl -- Poor Humphry was so
disconcerted at this double mistake, that he dropt the china
dish, which broke into a thousand pieces; then, falling down upon
his knees, remained in that posture gaping, with a most ludicrous
aspect of distress.


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