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Smollett, Tobias George, 1721-1771

"The Expedition of Humphry Clinker"


I had almost forgot to tell you, that I have had my hair cut and
pippered, and singed, and bolstered, and buckled, in the newest
fashion, by a French freezer -- Parley vow Francey -- Vee madmansell
-- I now carries my head higher than arrow private gentlewoman of
Vales. Last night, coming huom from the meeting, I was taken by
lamp-light for an iminent poulterer's daughter, a great beauty --
But as I was saying, this is all vanity and vexation of spirit --
The pleasures of London are no better than sower whey and stale
cyder, when compared to the joys of the new Gerusalem.
Dear Mary Jones! An please God when I return, I'll bring you a
new cap, with a turkey-shell coom, and a pyehouse sermon, that
was preached in the Tabernacle; and I pray of all love, you will
mind your vriting and your spilling; for, craving your pardon,
Molly, it made me suet to disseyffer your last scrabble, which
was delivered by the hind at Bath -- 0, voman! voman! if thou
had'st but the least consumption of what pleasure we scullers
have, when we can cunster the crabbidst buck off hand, and spell
the ethnitch vords without lucking at the primmer. As for Mr
Klinker, he is qualified to be a clerk to a parish -- But I'll say
no more -- Remember me to Saul -- poor sole! it goes to my hart to
think she don't yet know her letters -- But all in God's good time
-- It shall go hard, but I will bring her the A B C in gingerbread;
and that, you nose, will be learning to her taste.


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