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Smollett, Tobias George, 1721-1771

"The Expedition of Humphry Clinker"

'
The poor clothier's torments had already begun: he retired,
roaring with pain, to his own chamber; the oil was swallowed, and
the doctor sent for; but before he arrived, the miserable patient
had made such discharges upwards and downwards, that nothing
remained to give him further offence; and this double evacuation,
was produced by imagination alone; for what he had drank was
genuine wine of Bourdeaux, which the lawyer had brought from
Scotland for his own private use. The clothier, finding the joke
turn out so expensive and disagreeable, quitted the house next
morning, leaving the triumph to Micklewhimmen, who enjoyed it
internally without any outward signs of exultation -- on the
contrary, he affected to pity the young man for what he had
suffered; and acquired fresh credit from this shew of moderation.
It was about the middle of the night, which succeeded this
adventure, that the vent of the kitchen chimney being foul, the
soot took fire, and the alarm was given in a dreadful manner.
Every body leaped naked out of bed, and in a minute the whole
house was filled with cries and confusion -- There was two stairs
in the house, and to these we naturally ran; but they were both
so blocked up, by the people pressing one upon another, that it
seemed impossible to pass, without throwing down and trampling
upon the women.


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