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Smollett, Tobias George, 1721-1771

"The Expedition of Humphry Clinker"

By the
first of next month you may begin to make constant fires in my
brother's chamber and mine; and burn a fagget every day in the
yellow damask room: have the tester and curtains dusted, and the
featherbed and matrosses well haired, because, perhaps, with the
blissing of haven, they may be yoosed on some occasion. Let the
ould hogsheads be well skewred and seasoned for bear, as Mat is
resolved to have his seller choak fool.
If the house was mine, I would turn over a new leaf -- I don't see
why the sarvants of Wales shouldn't drink fair water, and eat hot
cakes and barley cale, as they do in Scotland, without troubling
the botcher above once a quarter -- I hope you keep accunt of
Roger's purseeding in reverence to the buttermilk. I expect my
dew when I come huom, without baiting an ass, I'll assure you. --
As you must have layed a great many more eggs than would be
eaten, I do suppose there is a power of turks, chickings, and
guzzling about the house; and a brave kergo of cheese ready for
market; and that the owl has been sent to Crickhowel, saving what
the maids spun in the family.
Pray let the whole house and furniture have a thorough cleaning
from top to bottom, for the honour of Wales; and let Roger search
into, and make a general clearance of the slit holes, which the
maids have in secret; for I know they are much given to sloth and
uncleanness.


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