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Foote, John Taintor, 1881-1950

"Blister Jones"


"After we gets to goin' Orphy pokes his head in the door.
"'The company don't allow me to handle the money,' he says. 'But my
friends most gen'ally drop the fare down the right-hand side of the
slot.'
"Me 'n' Peewee goes forward 'n' looks at the money box. The front of
the car has warped till there's a big crack in the right-hand side of
the box you can see the platform through. I drops two nickels in on
that side, 'n' bing! they go down the shoot 'n' out the crack. They
falls on the platform 'n' Orphy picks 'em up 'n' goes south with 'em.
"'That's what I call a live guy!' says Peewee. 'I'm proud to know him.'
"Pretty soon Orphy comes back 'n' jerks the trolley off 'n' we stop on
a big square with a monument in the middle.
"'We got to wait here at the Public Square fer Mrs. Boone,' he says.
"In about twenty minutes here comes a dame across the Square. She's
sixteen hands high 'n' will girt according. She belongs in the
heavy-draft class 'n' she's puffin' some.
"'How-dee-do, Orphy,' she says. 'I'm a mite late, but I didn't get
shet of my peach butter as quick as I aimed to.'
"'That's all right, Missus Boone,' says Orphy. 'The company allows me
a liberal schedool. Set right down on the trunk, Missus Boone. I
wouldn't resk the seats this mornin' if I was you.'
"'What's wrong with 'em?' says Mrs. Boone, 'n' pokes her head in the
door. 'Land a Liberty!' she says. 'I shall certainly write to the
_Banner_ about this! I call it disgraceful!' Then she sets down on
the trunk.


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