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Foote, John Taintor, 1881-1950

"Blister Jones"

I can roll
faster'n it's movin', but it keeps a-shakin' so he can't hardly set in
the seat.
"When it's pretty close I see he's a little guy with specs 'n' a yellow
coat on, but he's bein' shook so I can't hardly see what he does look
like.
"'How-dee-do!' he says, when he gets her stopped. 'Er,--it occurs to
me that I may be a little late. . . . Will any of you gentlemen
indulge in a Cuban Beauty?' He fishes some long black stogies out of
his pocket, but they don't nobody go against 'em, except him--he lights
one.
"Then the crowd shows him the locked stalls 'n' everybody takes a shot
at tellin' him what ought to be did.
"'Er,--it occurs to me,' says this Harry Evans, 'that there is a simple
way out of the--er--difficulty.'
"'There's class to him,' says Peewee.
"'How's that?' says some one in the crowd.
"'If Colonel Hunter here will tender me--er--eighty-six dollars in
behalf of my client,' says Harry Evans, 'I'll instruct my client to
unlock the stalls.'
"'There you are!' says Peewee.
"The big Jasper lets out a fierce roar.
"'Not by a damn sight!' says he. 'We leased these grounds with the
full use an' privilege of all buildin's an' other fixtures an'
appurtenances fur the purpose of holdin' a fair. We weren't aimin' to
get skinned out of eighty-six dollars by no lumber concern, 'n' we
ain't a-goin' to neither!'
"'Let's see your lease?' says Harry Evans.
"'It's back in town at my office,' says the old Jasper.


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