And
again what had he to give to Ramona? Could she live in a house
such as he must live in,-- live as the Temecula women lived? No!
for her sake he must leave his people; must go to some town, must
do -- he knew not what -- something to earn more money. Anguish
seized him as he pictured to himself Ramona suffering
deprivations. The more he thought of the future in this light, the
more his joy faded and his fear grew. He had never had sufficient
hope that she could be his, to look forward thus to the practical
details of life; he had only gone on loving, and in a vague way
dreaming and hoping; and now,-- now, in a moment, all had been
changed; in a moment he had spoken, and she had spoken, and
such words once spoken, there was no going back; and he had put
his arms around her, and felt her head on his shoulder, and kissed
her! Yes, he, Alessandro, had kissed the Senorita Ramona, and she
had been glad of it, and had kissed him on the lips, as no maiden
kisses a man unless she will wed with him,-- him, Alessandro! Oh,
no wonder the man's brain whirled, as he sat there in the silent
darkness, wondering, afraid, helpless; his love wrenched from him,
in the very instant of their first kiss,-- wrenched from him, and he
himself ordered, by one who had the right to order him, to begone!
What could an Indian do against a Moreno!
Would Felipe help him? Ay, there was Felipe! That Felipe was his
friend, Alessandro knew with a knowledge as sure as the wild
partridge's instinct for the shelter of her brood; but could Felipe
move the Senora? Oh, that terrible Senora! What would become of
them?
As in the instant of drowning, men are said to review in a second
the whole course of their lives, so in this supreme moment of
Alessandro's love there flashed through his mind vivid pictures of
every word and act of Ramona's since he first knew her.
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