The charm she exercised
over me was no doubt partly owing to my own peculiar temperament--to
my own hatred of self-consciousness and to an innate shyness which
is apt to make me feel at times that people are watching me, when
they most likely are doing nothing of the kind.
And charming as she is now, restored to health and
consciousness--charming above most young ladies with her sweet
intelligence and most lovable nature--the inexpressible witchery I
have tried to describe has vanished, otherwise I don't know how I
should have borne what I now have brought myself to bear, parting
from her.
I seemed to have no time to think about prosecuting inquiries in
regard to her identity. I am afraid there was much selfishness in
this, but I have never pretended to be an unselfish man.
The one drop of bitterness in my cup of pleasure was the recurrence
of the terrible paroxysms to which she was subject.
I was alarmed to find that these became more and more frequent and
more and more severe. I felt at last that her system could not stand
the strain much longer, and that the end of her life was not far
distant.
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