We talked about a lot of things. We seemed to need each
other. Then we got married and started living together.
"It didn't work out. After we had been married a few years things
changed. I don't know why. I thought I was the same as I had been and
I think she was. We used to sit around quarrelling about it, each
blaming the other. Anyway we didn't get along.
"We would sit on the little front porch of our house in the evening,
she bragging of the work she had done in the can factory and I
dreaming of quietude and a chance to work on the violins. I thought I
knew a way to increase the quality and beauty of tone and I had that
idea about varnish I have talked to you about. I even dreamed of doing
things those old fellows of Cremona didn't do.
"When she had been talking of her work in the office for maybe a half
hour she would look up and find that I hadn't been listening. We would
quarrel. We even quarrelled before the children after they came. Once
she said that she didn't see how it would matter if no violins had
ever been made and that night I dreamed of choking her in bed. I woke
up and lay there beside her thinking of it with something like real
satisfaction in just the thought that one long hard grip of my fingers
would get her out of my way for good.
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