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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"The Pothunters"

The
offertory will be for the Church expenses fund. Biscuits, please.'
'I wish you'd given this tea after next Saturday, Alderman,' said Jim.
Charteris was called the Alderman on account of his figure, which was
inclined to stoutness, and his general capacity for consuming food.
'Never put off till tomorrow--Why?'
'I simply must keep fit for the mile. How's Welch to run, too, if he
eats this sort of thing?' He pointed to the well-spread board.
'Yes, there's something in that,' said Tony. 'Thank goodness, my little
entertainment's over. I think I _will_ try one of those chocolate
things. Thanks.'
'Welch is all right,' said Jackson. 'He could win the hundred and the
quarter on sausage-rolls. But think of the times.'
'And there,' observed Charteris, 'there, my young friend, you have
touched upon a sore subject. Before you came in I was administering a
few wholesome words of censure to that miserable object on your right.
What is a fifth of a second more or less that it should make a man
insult his digestion as Welch does? You'll hardly credit it, but for
the last three weeks or more I have been forced to look on a
fellow-being refusing pastry and drinking beastly extracts of meat, all
for the sake of winning a couple of races.


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